I'm still putting time in to grind out games that have cards, that I want to play. I idle stinkers, but I can usually spare the five minutes to see if a game is worth playing. Porradaria, on the other hand, caught my eye because looking over the 'badges' page you can see black bars across some of the cards. I paused, staring at them in confusion. Was he censoring his own trading cards? What the...?
So yeah I installed and played it to figure out what kind of brazen nudity this greenlit game had managed to sneak through. For reference, there is nudity of various kinds in Steam, I think? The Witcher's cards are censored, although maybe they're not anymore, and I'm not sure how censored the Witcher 2 is. I'm pretty sure Huniepop is censored, but I don't own it, and I know from people's discussions in the SA Steam thread it has an uncensored version. But Path of Exile had some minor nudity (mostly statues, iirc) and many other games might have similar little bits hanging out. I feel like there was a horror game I played recently that had some nudity. Oh yeah, the ghost psychic in Fear 2 had her bits out.That was chilling.
Personally, I don't think nudity is all that big of a deal. It can be effective in horror or in showing decadence, but those big black bars of censorship made me genuinely wonder what the deal with this game was. So, you know, a bad reasons to waste an hour of my life.
In terms of the actual game, Porradaria is a competently programmed side-scrolling retro platformer. The game controls pretty well and feels fine, but it's basically not good. I mean I played it for an hour, and it worked well enough that I had some fun doing the jumping puzzles, but you instant die on spikes in a lot of weirdly stupid places. The one level has cacti that damage you, and then instant death spikes, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out the one pit with a cactus right in front of it. I couldn't say if it was sloppy design or if the game just explained itself in a sloppy way.The game did have this neat mario-esque section where you switch different color blocks on and off. On the other hand it also just had slow climbing sections where you had to wear down enemies, and if you took a hit, you fell in a pit and died. That's some classic "why am I playing this" gameplay, ayup.
You play as "the ninja" or "the swordsman" and just sort of kill random things on your quest to go right. (Sometimes up, but then right) I didn't play much of the game, because it isn't really fun, and I do mean random. You fight samurai, goblins, doves and sandwurms - at least in the levels I saw - and then of the three bosses I fought, two of them were the aforementioned 'brazen nudity'. Screenshots at the side, because why not? It's nothing anyone is going to even notice. They don't even have nipples.
At least, not that I can tell.
The music is terrible in this bizarre way, but the audio is that sort of amateur bedroom production that just sounds amazing in a silly way. You and the enemies both scream in a horrific fashion at death, and blood sprays across the screen in a matching completely ridiculous fashion. The music is off being music for some other game. Like, an even worse game. I can't really describe it, it just feels like janky cowboy music or something while your doing jumping puzzles. It isn't especially good, but it absolutely doesn't fit, so it's just really terrible.Anyway I played the game for an hour and fiddled with the password system. I don't think I got to the end of the game, but I fought a robot that had two stages to the fight. In stage two after two or three minutes, it knocked me into spikes every time. Instant death, start over, welp done with this. The other one had the aforementioned cactus thing. Again, instant death, start over, well I'm done with this. Not really much more to say about the game than that. There's no checkpoints, so you eventually get shuffled back to the start of the level and meh.
Nothing really special here, and hardly what I'd call nudity, either.
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