Play Relevant Month: Raging off the Rocks

When Doom was put out all those ages ago, it didn't really have much of a story. Like a good horror film, it presented itself through powerful visuals. It had lighting, it was spooky, you strapped in and off you went against the demon hordes. Game storytelling has moved up a fair amount since I was a little kid all those years ago, but there is something to be said for the Mario, the Sonic, the Doom style of gameplay introduction. You pick it up and go.

Rage on the other hand wants to have a story, so it opens with a cutscene, then what amounts to tutorial. The first time through, I got bored through the tutorial before I could save. I assumed it did the checkpoint autosave thing! So I had to do the start again. I stands out when you think about Doom, where I'd have been knee deep in the dead (hehe) in the same span of time.

The open is so jarring and weird to me besides. Like I said, you have your classic pick up and go games, and then you have storied games. In this, you're a guy in a pod, you wake up suddenly. And then pod opens to like, outdoors? So you think you're in the middle of some wasteland, which I guess you are, except some guy jumps you and bullets start flying seconds later. The pod was right there! If they wanted my delicious meaty bits, why didn't they just open the pod?

And then you're talking to John Goodman. He wants you to help out. For lack of anything else to do, you do. Spoiler: That describes the entire story.

Not So Scary games month: Torchlight 2

Torchlight 2 is a little unique to me in that it marks two events I haven't hit on in ages: First, I actually bothered to join the beta. I'm still a bit sour on the beta, as it feels like beta tests have turned into a way to advertise games. There were more than a few bits of feedback I would have liked to submit and never really found a means to do so besides posting in their forum. Most forums suck real bad, so fuck that. I'm not beta testing your game and coming up with gripes so I can log onto a forum to be told by fanboys my considerations aren't real because they have brain problems.

Second, it's the first game in actual years I bought before release - I think Diablo 2's expansion might be the last one. This isn't really to do with overwhelming excitement - four pack for $15 a head enticed one of my friends. He bought it, and according to his steam profile, played it all of five hours.

Torchlight 2 is an ARPG built by the same guys who built the original Diablo 2, and maybe the original Diablo though I don't want to get quoted on that one. Diablo 2 sets the standard for ARPGs; there is no better game, to this day, in the category assuming you can handle the dated but thankfully sprite graphics. Early 3D graphics would have made the game agony to look at. I've played a fair bit of older games recently, and Diablo 2 is one of those truly classic games that somehow manages to "get it". It's possibly a product of its times - D2 came out before many of the razzle dazzle elements of the computer gaming had really come to the forefront.

Shootember: Fall of Cuberbots

I don't usually like to play sequels shortly after finishing a previous chapter in a series. It towards doing two main things: Graphics are always better, gameplay is always worse. Gameplay might not actually truly be worse, but it feels worse as you struggle to nail down changes in motion and control scheme.

just walk right into the gun

First impressions out of the gate: The game is definitely prettier, in fact, it might be one of the best looking games I've ever seen. WFC was attractive and polished, but Fall of Cyberton is actually legitimately gorgeous even beyond the environments which were already stellar. Gameplay is a bit weaker, but even more varied. I feel like it has encroached a bit too close to 'modern shooter' for my tastes, although it still doesn't have a full cover button scuttling walls "thing" that I've seen in some other games. Compared to the first it feels a bit sluggish and transforming comes off as slower. There's less a feeling of agility in much of the game.

literal of tower of power

The game's plot picks up what I imagine is some additional amount of time after the first one, though it's hard to pin down how much. As far as I can tell they have stopped talking about DARK ENERGON which is a massive, unreal huge improvement. I have no idea who settled on that plot device for the first game but I hope he sobered up and is living a healthy life now. It's hard to think he was in a good place when he imagined up that particular macguffin. There are more characters and more variety in enemies, though enemies still suffer from difficulty in being differentiated at a glance. It's a bit saddening since this is an issue in just about all FPSes, but in this game you can design totally different bodies for them! This is jarring when you run into "name" characters, who all look extremely different from the mainstay buffoons. Except the Combaticon fivesome, who look quite similar to the primary decepticon models. I found that interesting to see in action, as though the art team changed gears near the end of develop to put them into the game using other models as the basis. They look great, so it's not a complaint, but it's odd how Megatron or Starscream look so different from all of their soldiers.

haven't seen any others of those, huh

The plot remains, on the most part, pretty weak. Most characters and most dialogue is good; Megatron remains an awful eyesore with horrible dialogue and just ridiculous nonsense spewing from his mouth at all times. It's very strange how in the moment the game feels good, but you stop to consider what is going on and it is just silly. I have no idea what Megatron's overarching goal was supposed to be, other than just being angry about ... Something? I don't want to sperg out about the plot, but even more than the first game it really feels like Megatron just yells reality into warping itself to his desires. Stuff around him just doesn't make sense.

While character driven dialogue - the exchange between guys, the plans, the cut scenes and various speeches - are all really good, one thing that really stood out about the game is the very weird taunts the enemy units I think are directing at you. It's very strange because the audio direction is set up in such a way that I wasn't sure for most of the game who they were at all talking to. Were they talking to each other? The wall? It wasn't really clear.

Transitions through chapters and the general pacing of the game is much better than the first one, with lots of variety in those chapters as well. Transforming is unfortunately somewhat marginalized here, with enemies basically never transforming in a meaningful way and much of the vehicle stuff basically forced into the moment. When you do need to transform though, the vehicle sections are much better. The game is surprisingly when you consider just how poorly most vehicle sections are in most games. I mean the tank part of Crysis was so terrible - out of nowhere - that I actually cheated past it. I guess that's more of a FPS thing, maybe, thinking back on the vehicle sections in Just Cause 2 which were good. My favorite vehicle stuff involved the mid-game helicopter level with Vortex, who felt like you were rewarded for using each of his weapons and both of his forms. Also watching the thruster animation as the helicopter started jetting around never ceased to amuse.

The game is especially interesting for its capacity to actually continually improve over the course of the chapters, as many action games tend to get worse after blowing the opening set pieces. I wasn't at all impressed with the Metroplex stuff, but the middle levels are just a rush of really interesting set pieces as characters react to the climax of Metroplex's ascension and defense of Iacon. Then the plot falls back away as it attempts to slide back to the starting, as the entire game is a flashback. It kinda sticks gears with Megatorn returning to give boring speeches about how he's so angry about something. Given his giant phallic gun and his transformation into a huge dong, maybe it's pent up ... robo ... Something? Still, the levels continually improve other than his first couple scenes, which sucked. The last level reaches a fever pitch that actually got pretty exciting. As climaxes go, other game companies could learn from their lessons here - It briefly uses many of the assets introduced in the game

In the final conclusion I think the game is, in many ways, a slightly worse game and definitely a worse shooter than the first one. Many of the elements, especially the lack of transforming enemies and somewhat reduced variety of basic encounters, really takes away from the pound the ground combat the first game excelled at. On the other hand, the graphics engine has been pushed so far its glorious to just watch in motion, and the various chapters all have a ton of variety. This is a game where you spend some time as a hover jeep, a helicopter, a phallic tank, an eight foot tall titan, an angry brain addled robot who transforms into a dinosaur and even fits in a sweet little stealth action level. That's a ton of variety and presented in such a way where you legitimately wish the game was just longer! The ending alone has four completely different styles of play, with a gladiatorial battle, a dave and goliath fight and so on.

gimme five

That's pretty swell and I give them high praises for putting out so an interesting set of experiences. I wish I was better at multiplayer, but I'm so atrocious I'm not even going to bother. I'm a terrible shot, sigh. And yet I still quite enjoy shooters, and odd paradox.

Shootember: War for Cuber DARK ENERGON

no timer on nonsteam games

I avoided this game for a long time because I'm a Transformers "fan" of varying amounts on any given day and I assumed it was a boilerplate shooter that other Transformers fans were telling me was amazing because having Soundwave talk with a little synth action is enough to make their pants thunder as bits within break the sound barrier. I'm not kidding, it really doesn't take much to get them popping their cogs.

oh fuck it was dead space all along

So I finally fired it up and I was actually pretty floored with it. The thing that struck and strikes very quickly is how beautifully detailed the environments are, and not just the skyboxes!. The character models and animations are really slick too, with the whole Transforming element a joy to watch, but the levels are just lavished with detail. This is pretty weird, see, since shooters have a bad habit of being a bunch of boxes with other boxes in a skybox. War for Cybertron I was almost certain would be the boxiest robot box in the history of crates but somehow it isn't. It isn't better looking than Crysis 2 but it is really lovingly crafted.

The game is ostensibly a shooter but at times I'm not entirely certain it truly wants to be that. Characters can transform into a variety of vehicles, so there's drivingish bits and flyingesque bits that feel sort of like the shooter parts are still clinging pretty hard. There's also some jumping puzzles and some vague other sort of puzzles. It feels like they took a couple game ideas then hosed them down with shooter elements before dropping them into the prettiest damn boxes.

If that sounds sort of negative, maybe it is, but the game is a pretty decent shooter in terms of just gunning down dudes. Has a real blood pumping bam bam feel to it that puts a grin on your face. The other elements keep the action broken up, which I like, and some of the vehicles are nice to drive. I do find some of the jumping puzzles with their instant death time to reload dorkiness a bit annoying, but the game's check point system is better than some - not flawless, but fine. Also the game is not afraid to throw huge boss fights at you, or tease you with massive destruction being thrown around. Admittedly, if you're one like me who played too many mmorpgs and is long since sick of staged fights, you may find a little nausea in this game.

I really dig the animations on the characters themselves - It sinks in more and more as you play different bots that they all have beautifully detailed idle cycle, transformations, so forth. Although if looked at too long it becomes evident they are blocks that don't really "work" in terms of having joints or functional range of motion, they are still a delight to watch in action. They also sound really good on the most part - I find Cullen's Optimus a little out of place sometimes, but worse voice actors producing better lines feels about the same. Megatron's voice actor is not quite what I'd hope for, he's more of a Turmoil sounding character, which is a reference no one will ever get.

of course it rains in prison

Megatron's character and the overarching plot of the game beyond individual scenes of robotic mayhem, which the game does extremely well and with impressive grasp of scale, is pretty much repulsively awful. Megatron has no real character, he is as one dimensional as they come and his plot device which he screams repeatedly is unexplained goofy nonsense. I don't know if I want to say Dark Energon is children's cartoon level, since honestly it basically get hamfisted into everything and feels like something even little kids would start rolling their eyes at. It does everything! It defeats bosses for you, empowers his armies, is part of bombs and opens doors. You know you're really reaching with your plot device when in addition to everything else it is a skeleton key.

The story is on the most part simply awful. The characters are good, the dialogue is good, but the person who wrote the story should simply feel bad about what he's doing with his life. I mean really, really should think about how he's writing at a grade school level. When almost all of your plot centers on a blow by blow level on "plot device!" you're doing something wrong. It's honestly worse than watching an 80s cartoon. It's sort of a pity watching good voice actors perform good dialogue that, when you stop and parse, is absolutely dreadful in scope. Also the story does little to articulate why anyone is fighting this war at all. They hate each other and ... And yeah, that's all of it.

And don't give me the "There's a story???" tripe. If you don't want to pay attention to a story, that's totally fine. But you could have taken the same scenes with much the same dialogue and laid out something at least run of the mill instead of outright insulting.

Other things that aren't fun, and never were fun, and never will be fun. Waiting during a fight for some "instant death" attack to finish. The game gets worse and worse in this regard, with some of the last few battles having extremely long sessions of "drive around waiting for missile barrage to finish". This is MMORPG level design and it's beyond irritating to see it migrate into other games. I get that you want to make people dodge or avoid attacks, that's fine, but making me drive from something I can not see for more than even two seconds is boring and hovers right above being a chore. Past that and you're into tedious monotony.

really

It's not binary, of course, but a spectrum of tense moments that rapidly dissolve away. Tension turns into stress, and stress is the biggest enemy of fun. I think people have a ton of difficulty discerning or articulating the difference, which can make game design slippery. You desperately seek tension, but you utterly do not want stress. Worse, while I really like the NPCs that make up your squad, the fact you can run into them while you're trying to avoid something is atrocious.

Still - regardless of the bad story and a couple snafus in fight design - the game overall is a polished, surprisingly deep shooter with a great variety of play. As I said the game feels less like a shooter, more like a shooter operating through multiple minigames. Transforming can be pretty tertiary, or really important, depending on what stage of the game you're in. Also the game is surprising in terms of environmental variety; Cybertron really does feel like a "different world" and not just a metal Earth.

Shootember: Let's be negativestein

I can't take screenshots of Wolfenstein for reasons I am uncertain of. It does not allow steam overlay because bananas, and capture attempts do not seem to work. How nice! It's not really the best looking FPS. This is going to be pretty dry without pictures, ugh.

Old school space masters

why do you show me a broodhome when you won't let me

I can't do a counter since the Ur-Quan Masters isn't exactly a steam game. Provided free, the UQM is a port of a thing of a something, of Star Control 2. I am old enough to have played the Sega Genesis ports of Star Flight (done by EA) and Star Control (done by Accolade) which gives me a pretty decent historical grounding in this game. I'd read about SC2 as a teen and always felt a bit sour I couldn't - or hadn't, really - get a copy of it. It sounded great.

The game is regarded as a classic and it's hard not to see why, assuming you can see past the dated graphics and woefully dated gameplay. To get all the positive out of the way so I can get my complain on, for a classic game - fuck, for a game AT ALL - the voice acting and story telling is excellent. I love just listening to people talk, and the stories they tell are richly varied, if 80s as fuck. The combat is based around simplified physics of inertia and acceleration, but this gives flying the ships a real learning curve. It feels rewarding, though the AI is a tragedy. The music is wonderful and the world is vast, if a little hollow.

So it's good, and I like it, on the most part. But let's complain, because man is this game easy to complain about. If you are a huge fan of this game, don't read on, because while I "liked" Star Control 2, I think it's largely a majorly overrated turd of a game (though I admit, this could mostly be down to issues with the port)

Rochard is a great crate shooter

There is an inevitable weird moment that comes up in gaming where you look dead ahead at the screen and just wonder. Games are constructs, stories if you want to be poetic, in which a bunch of dudes got together to assemble a narrative for you to push your way through. In most games, which are inevitably flawed, there's a moment where shit is just retarded. You question why, you wonder what the point is, your brain tries to figure how they came up with the idea to do this at all.

This moment comes up a bunch in Rochard. One might even say about half the game.

At it's core Rochard was sort of sold to me as a puzzle game with some shootie elements. It's a side scroller, with a vast array of tools slowly added to the game which on the most part base themselves around the usage of a gravity tool; either in lifting things with your "G-Lifter" or in lowering gravity which you can control.

Those elements are awesome. Hitting enemies - and there are enemies galore - in the face with crates actually never gets old. Hitting enemies in the fact with a crate which knocks them off a ledge then their corpse sails into another enemy killing them as well is pretty much a windmill slam of awesome. In fact, in an ironic twist given how much I hated the fucking "crate" in Dead Space, the crates are the best part of this game. I fucking love crates in Rochard. Just rename it CRATEZ. All the little puzzle quirks in Rochard are nice, the fuse system, recoil jumps, all the weird force fields - the game has tons of ideas for how to make crates fun.

Then again if you could pick up the crate in Dead Space and splatter zombies with it, the game would be actually twice as good as it was. I guess that would ruin the nonexistent atmosphere of the end of the game though!

Going back to the problems with Rochard - Well ok, I mean, at a basic level the game is an indie title with somewhat lacking voice acting outside of the main character, the controls are a little loose and the graphics may or may not appeal to you. I really like the art style, as it is clean and simple, with pretty solid conveyance of different elements at a glance. I think on an aesthetic level its objectively good, but subjective tastes may vary as they tend to. The plot is hokey and probably a little unnecessary given the overall context of the game but that's not something I like to get stuck on.

But the big issue is the game at times seems to really not want to be a puzzle game, and instead be a contra esque side scrolling shooter. With tubby, slow moving, goofball protagonist. I'm not entirely sure - hence the sense of wonderment - what they were thinking. Is it really hard to come up with fun physics puzzles when you have that many possible options? Almost all the puzzle bits are fun, and much of the game feels like it should just be puzzles as the hero sneaks his way through the underbelly of various facilities.

I know this might sound a little weird but I feel like the puzzle of "how do I get out of this room?" should have made more of an appearance. It's realistic that a tubby miner trying to sneak his way through an asteroid and the later levels would run into this problem, as opposed to armed guards finding their way into and throughout the duct work. What are they doing there? The game suffers tremendously from having an incredibly interesting set of, while not necessarily "unique" puzzling elements, at least cheerfully presented ones that it largely seems to have no interest in using. Instead it constantly throws a pair of puzzles at you I have little enjoyment of: How Do I Shoot These Guys With This Terrible Aiming System and Some Shit With Lasers

The Laser puzzles are obnoxious and artificially lengthen the game by lasering you to death repeatedly. Which then triggers a relatively slow reload (seriously, this game loads slower than dead space) and you repeat the puzzle. This isn't good game design by any stretch of the imagination, given I don't think that silly cute puzzles involving gravity and crates are all that hard to put in the game instead. I sort of gave them a pass in the early game, where it made sense for there to be lasers and other hazards - You're on a mining platform, in deep space, on an asteroid. Of course there's going to be demolition equipment! But in the later game, you're not on a mining platform, so why the fuck are there lasers. Lasers, I might add, which kill the enemies. So they're not exactly a 'security system' are they?

The enemies though are the real stinker of the game and perhaps speak extremely poorly of the game's development team. While I'm loathe to call someone else's hard work poor when I'm writing poorly crafted sentences on a blog, I'm at a loss to explain why the enemies are even in the game in such numbers to begin with, especially in light of their inept coding.

Enemy AI is a delicate balance: An AI that is "too good" frustrates players. An AI that is utterly incapable and toothless is also irritating, as it is more or less a waste of time. The Enemies in Rochard are both. They are perfect, crack shots, nailing a moving target behind cover with near perfect accuracy. If they can hit you, they will. In fact, once activated, enemies will fire on you from off screen, plastering you over and over as you flee to break line of sight. Cover has little impact on their ability to kill you, as their shots are completely steady and relentless.

But enemies are also rubbish, easily tricked and exceedingly dopey. The only reason they're a threat at all is simply a matter of their accuracy being perfect, while your ability to hit a moving target can be less than perfect. You are then thrust into battling them in mostly linear hallways, where they fire on you from a screen over. With little recourse, you often simply end up gunned down.

It's baffling. Not only are they entirely needless within the relative framework of what makes the game good, you are even denied the means by which to deal with them in a fun way. Dropping crates on enemies or smacking them with exploding turret debris is "fun". Shooting the enemies is irritating - the aiming system is clumsy, possibly as a mix of both needs the game puts on it. The puzzle elements, I think, suffer for this as well. The game is thankfully less than excited to give you stacking puzzles, since stacking crates is actually pretty tedious.

I think at it's core Rochard was a really great game, but then needed to be lengthened out and they settled on something a little less than optimal. The puzzles, though usually simple, have this earnest hands on feeling that makes them surprisingly satisfying. Had the game been 75% puzzles, 25% run and gun instead of 50:50 I think I'd be giving it high praise. As is, it's about half a great game, half an exercise in mediocrity and I'm not at all certain why.

Worth getting if you can put up with there being less puzzle in your puzzle game, not so much if you get to the first run and gun section and slam the keyboard down in rage.

As an aside and sort of a foot note - I could do without the odd racism mixed with the extremely strange selection of accents on the sky police.