Card Hunt: Not Without My Donuts

I don't even know how to introduce this game.

Not Without My Donuts is essentially like, uh, you remember the original Mario Brothers where they fight waves of enemies and you have to dispose of them? In most ways, it is basically that, except there's even less of a game. You're a well-voiced Cupcake who wants to eat donuts. When you eat donuts, since there's nothing else to do initially, you are randomly given a weapon. Using the weapon, you can kill enemies, but that doesn't seem to accomplish much since more enemies vomit from the sky. You can jump around and collect more donuts, which increases your score, but it also randomly gives you weapons, so the game is a constantly shifting succession of weapons, some of which suck and some of which are insane, but they don't really accomplish much anyway. Shortly afterward, your cupcake perishes. You can also jump. Jump and shoot.

Your jump can't however take you up, so you have to go down, which pops you out of the top. The screen wraps the other direction as well. The whole thing reminds me of those like, hundred in one carts, except the game looks good in its silly little way, runs smoothly and the voice acting is oddly charming. The music is catchy, as well. It's an oddly quality production except there's not much to actually do. You just run around on one screen, then you die, then you do it again. I unlocked another screen, but it was mostly the same gameplay. Actually, it was the exact same, except the jumps were different. Oh, there was a pretty nice cutscene when I first fired up the game, but I sort of didn't understand the point of a nice cutscene for how little content lay past it.

Jump and shoot. Jump and shoot.

I played for a half hour and kept going thinking I'd missed something. But then nothing changed. Jump and shoot, go down, go around, eat more donuts. After a half hour of almost nothing happening, well, that's all there was.

I'm a little confused. I got this in a bundle. Jump and shoot.